To be happy by choice require deeper understanding about the term happiness itself and your way in building your value system. In this modern time, life as we know heavily suggested that happiness equals to pleasure seeking. Most apparent evidence is the display of social media where influencers and celebrities, the front liner of this trend, curate their feeds in ‘oh-so-perfect’ light. General population normalized what they see and refer this as the definition of an ideal life, which in turn lead into unprecedented volume of mental issues.

Happiness?

What do we think of this? As we grow, most people should have their superior installing definition(s) of happiness. Most common ideas are: “Get yourself this dream job and you’re settled for life”, “Find yourself true love and nothing else matters”, “Ace your school grade and your future is well-settled”, and “Own this sick car and you will be the top dog”. The whole culture seems to revolve around this pursuit of many things or so we say the “Pursuit of Happiness”. Don’t you think the usage of term ‘pursuit’ is misleading? The spirit behind this word signify an externalization of happiness from your inner being. If this is the program that you choose to operate on, happiness will only be further away the more you pursue it.

To understand better let us look the vital principle of manifestation: If you want to attract something, be that something before you try anything. This principle seems counter-intuitive, how can I be when I don’t have it? The problem with intuition is that our strongest push usually suggest something that is totally wrong. In this case our intuition suggested that result and identity are separated entities. However, manifestation world sees both entities as one; one cannot exist without the other. 

The term “Fake it until you make it” works well in manifesting our wishes into reality. This “faking” is your training to correctly incorporate the identity which later success will be marked by detachment of trying. Here you will feel that universe opens the way for you to achieve your goal, experience of less resistance. After all that is done, go and pour your effort in making things happen. Well, there are more details about manifestation that deserve its own post.

Familiarize yourself with happiness

Putting this manifestation principle into our pursuit of happiness, we should revise our mental frame. Most of us might initially agree with the common ideas that was mentioned earlier until the aftermath of meeting our set goals. By then, we realized that it doesn’t feel as good as we expected, not as intense, and not long-lasting. Now find out the correct things that might actually lead to our personal happiness, find the why behind your wants. Ask yourself: “Is this making me happy?” Try to imagine a scenario if you cannot achieve this, how bad will it be? If this subject is non-essential to your well-being, it is better to discard this from your life.

At the core, happiness occurs when you are involved in the expression of your true self, adding positive contribution to the world. In this process, we are becoming less aware of our self and shifted our focus to serve others. Along with it, many unnoticed contributor to happiness will show, such as kindness from surrounding and strong connection with others. If you look closely, positive emotions are the original motive of most people’s pursuit of hedonistic pleasures.

Review your life’s events and relive your happiest moments. Take note of the details and figure out what really matters to you. From that point, make decision to want the correct things. Instead of chasing high paying job, set your goals to have significant job that utilize your signature strength. Instead of indulging in sensual pleasure, set your goals into connectedness and intimacy with your loved ones. By rearranging these goals, you are getting familiar with the right kind of happiness and will be able to formulate your own definition of happiness.

Take a breather

By now you should’ve noticed that degree of happiness is closely tied to our ability to appreciate what we do have. Now set time in your routine to step back from every day’s hassle to simply enjoy the present. Use this stop point to fully savor the now and rest your soul from any haunting of what the future could be. Believe me, you are doing yourself a favor by taking a break like this from time to time.

Aside from these breaks, be mindful about what we consume. Of course this is not only simply about the food we take but also about what thoughts we entertain in our daily life. Being mindful about our food intake will of course aid our health and will in turn contribute to our happiness level, but the well-being of our thoughts contribute in greater magnitude. The most crucial thing is to stop our comparison toward our social circle, this is a natural instinct that needs trimming as we grow. Try putting away social media for some time and see the increase in your happiness level.

Move forward

After the calm we may start thinking and planning about the future, now with the ability to have a full life. Since only truly happy people can flourish into the fullest of themselves, they can embrace the strength and accepting whatever weakness without self-judgment. Maybe your life isn’t perfect but you can have healthy, natural resilience to life as the king of your world. The spirit within will not fail you and you shall shine bright like the stars.

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Conclusion

  • People now days are having wrong ‘wantings’ that is not leading to happiness, instead it caused various mental issues.
  • Physical indulgence could increase our happiness level but will return into default level after some time.
  • The real motive usually get unnoticed, covered in socially defined ‘should-be’s.
  • What you get in life is the reflection of your identity, choose your identity wisely.
  • Take enough breaks in life, it will help to accelerate your life.
  • Be done with your present self before you start planning the future.